CAUTION: CRINGE NEW YEARS POST
CAUTION: CRINGE NEW YEARS REFLECTION POST ALERT!
Since I left Bournemouth on the 2nd I have felt very on edge and anxious every minute, incomplete, if you must. “This time of year is an emotional time for everyone” Mum reassures me, and it’s okay to cry, because I tell you what, I did quite a lot of that on the train from bournemouth back to good old Suzza (Surrey for those of you who don’t know the kool kid terms), and I’m not entirely sure why…. but I guess thats what this post is all about; reflection.
So it’s now January 2018, perfect time for reflection and there is definitely a lot of pressure this month for us all to try to be a new person or a better version of ourselves, or to just wake up a 3 pm January 1st and say “I am so happy to be alive this year” and yes I am sure that is very savage and naive of me to say but at the end of the day I live off honesty, and honestly, I don’t feel that way about the new year… I woke up on new years day surrounded by all my closest friends and frankly I was sad….and to be quite frank I still am. As I know it was for many people and the world as a whole, 2017 was not my year… it was a fucking roller coasting that went 1000 miles an hour. I don’t feel like myself, I don’t feel like having a jolly about it being a new year. I still feel lost as fuck and I have no idea where I belong half of me is there and half of me is here…..what the actual fuck am I, at 21 years old, supposed to do with this life right now? And if I don’t know, who the fuck does? And when the fuck will I figure it out?
It is indeed a time where we all somewhat try to be a ‘newer’ version of ourselves. Yes I will admit that although I am not going to say it’s a new me this year, I will be making some serious changes…. like seriously serious…as serious as Kylie is on realising stuff…I am going to take the time in the next year to make sure that I better the person I already am. I am going to settle into a life and hopefully a job that I love and makes me feel passionate about what I have been striving for all my life… and if not I’ll just find a sense of joy on whatever I end up doing, but nevertheless not be a miserable bitch about everything all the time.
I am very much one of those people who makes a new years resolution every year and sticks to it…LOL said no one ever! But this year I wouldn’t say its a new years resolution but more just goals to better the way I live and think about everything at the moment, and I suppose help myself to better understand this ‘adult-ish’ life, because quite frankly I’m definitely not very good at it, I’m still earning minimum wage and well, I spend it all… on useless materialistic things and I’m still complaining about my life when in hindsight, it’s really not that bad, but hindsight’s a bitch, and I’m trying to live in the ‘now’. So here are my goals to better myself the next 12 months, bring on December 31st 2018 because ‘imma be adult AF’.
Meditate at least twice a week… Gotta clear that mind and conquer all it’s genius capacities.
Start going to yoga once a week…. Just to, you know, clear the mind of anxiousness and alcoholism.
Save Save Save… So I can actually attempt to move out of my parents house!
Do at Least one blog post a week…. Since I’ve been slacking recently!
Make the most of the present, don’t dwell on the past, and don’t look too far into the future, because what’s meant to be will be.
Let’s see if I stick to them…. It’s now January 9th and I’m about to do my first yoga class, hot yoga in fact… and meditated twice…. so not doing too badly.
Stay bubbly Beer Pirates!